When Your Phone Starts to Feel Like Too Much: Mindful Phone Use

It seems like many people are talking about “breaking up with their phone” lately—and for very good reason. Most of us have complicated, messy, love–hate relationships with these little handheld portals to other dimensions.

But I want to say this upfront: if you find yourself stuck in a loop of scrolling well beyond what you'd hope for yourself and feeling bad about it—you’re not alone. You’re a human living in a capitalist culture where everything is designed to pull you in. Smartphones are meant to be addictive. They’re engineered to capture your attention and keep it.

So if you feel obsessed or over-attached, that’s not a personal failing—it’s a normal response to the world we’re in.

For many people, the pattern of “phone creep” happens slowly. Maybe it’s a change of season—darker days, less outdoor time, or a shift in your routine. Or maybe something happened at home or work that just feels hard or gritty. You notice you’re reaching for your phone more often. Maybe you’ve stopped taking that walk after work, or you’re realizing how many hours you’ve spent in the glow of the screen instead of reading, resting, creating, or connecting. Maybe you're reaching for it the moment you wake up, and setting it down the second before you fall asleep. Sound familiar?

These moments are not signs that you’re doing life wrong. They’re little signals—gentle nudges from parts of yourself that want tending.

A Practice of Noticing

Next time you notice yourself reaching for your phone—whether out of boredom, habit, or stress—see if you can pause, even for a few seconds.

You might already have it in your hand. That’s okay. Try this:

• Set the phone down.

• Close your eyes.

• Take a few slow, steady breaths.

  
  

Notice what’s here, beneath the impulse for the phone. Are you feeling anxious? Lonely? Drained? Numb? Something else? Where do you feel it in your body?

See if you can bring a bit of care to that part of you—maybe a hand on your heart or your belly. Offer yourself a small dose of the same warmth you’d give a dear friend who’s having a hard day.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. Wherever you are, just give that experience some space. Change happens with small shifts. Let this practice be simple and straight-forward.

Making Practical Shifts

There are also practical things you can do to support yourself:

• Try putting your phone on greyscale in the evening—less color, less stimulation.

• Set app limits or time boundaries for the places you tend to lose yourself.

• Keep your phone out of reach during meals or while winding down at night.

• Leave your phone by the door when you get home, or even in the car.

• If you have ADHD and this feels impossible, consider getting a lock box for your phone.

And most importantly, think about what you want to replace the habit with—something that nourishes you instead of numbs you. What might that be for you? A short walk, stretching, making tea, reading, or sitting quietly for a few minutes.

Instead of thinking about it like a fast or a punishment, think about what you want more of. What could add joy to your day? You might find that you can “crowd out” the urge with good things, rather than abstaining.

You Haven’t Fallen Off the Wagon

This process—of noticing, drifting, and returning—is part of being human. We all get pulled off course. We can all come back—you get to decide when and how.

There’s no wagon to fall off of, really. Just a continual movement between awareness and distraction, between intention and forgetfulness.

What matters is not that you wandered—it’s that you noticed. Hooray!

So if you’re feeling caught in your phone again, take it as a flag in the sand that something inside you is asking for attention and care. Respond with gentleness. Reconnect with what nourishes you.